How to create autumn, even if it doesn't exist where you dwell.

After being mopey and pouting about all the things I missed in my last post, I decided to pout some more because I added another item to the list: fall. You know, the time of year when everything outside gets crisp and colorful? When delicious things are baked in your oven and you eat them with people that you enjoy? When you wear lovely sweaters and cardigans and scarves because its fashionable AND its appropriate to the climate?

Cinnamon and spice and everything nice. And pumpkin spice lattes from Starbucks. OM NOM NOM.

Yeah, well, in case you missed the last 7 memos, I live in the desert and fall doesn't exist here. Or at least, it doesn't exist when I think it should....(September until the end of November). Apparently it gets chilly for about 2 weeks in January and everyone in Phoenix freaks out and wears snowsuits because it dips below 50 degrees. Well I decided that I'm not going to wait for those two weeks, and last Wednesday I pulled out my scarves. Not kidding.

To clarify, I didn't wear them outside because that's dangerous. I nearly die of dehydration and heat exhaustion when I'm tooling around in shorts and a tank top.....a scarf would be the end of me. HOWEVER, the basement of the music building, where I have one of my singing classes, is colder than most freezers I know. Its jarring to walk through 100+ degree heat and then go down to the basement where it feels like late October. Not to mention that there is not a costume change for this transition. Still in the shorts and the tank. So I whipped out my scarves last week and while I wasn't exactly fashionable in my bi-polar (clever, right?....no? okay.) wardrobe, I certainly wasn't cold.

So I've decided to make a how-to entry for fall. For me, here are the things that quantify/qualify the occurrence of fall: fall clothing, fall food/cooking, fall home decor, fall weather and fall activities. I'm pretty sure I can imitate most of these requirements with semi-good success. IDK. You be the judge.

First, fall clothing. Well, in my haste to pack as quickly as possible and with my intention to not fill the car with unnecessary things, I failed to bring ANY sweaters with me to Arizona. I check my closet almost every day to see if any of them have magically appeared (I love Harry Potter) but alas, I apparently need to do some more work on my summoning charms. Drat. However, I have....how do you say....umm.....a gaggle of wool socks? (I discussed the usage of this term with a certain Fullerton this morning) No, a stash. Yes, a stash of wool socks at my disposal and one of my favorite activities is to wander around my apartment in my shorts and wool socks, regardless of the outside temperature. Its fun. Try it. Plus, its easier to slide around the tile floors with wool socks, than it is with regular socks....which is what I do when I'm supposed to be practicing. Apparently not much has changed since my undergrad. Whoops.

Next, fall food and cooking. Well I love fall food, but I'm not much of a cook as of yet, so I'll need to work on that. Recently, there was an allegedly delicious recipe for fall-type muffins that was passed around on le Facebook by some of my fall-loving college friends. I was about to attempt the baking of said muffins until I considered the repercussions of my failing to make them correctly. To start off, I don't yet own muffing baking equipment, ie. the muffin pan or muffin cups. And I've never made muffins. Eh, that's not true. One time, the boy person let me stir the ingredients for some muffins in the dish, but he did all the hard work and I wasn't paying that close of attention, so I don't remember the details. Plus, I'm pretty sure if I ruined the muffins, it would be a pretty huge setback for my cooking confidence. So far, I've only ruined dinner twice and breakfast 4 times. And two of the breakfast-fails were because I was too tired to function and probably shouldn't have been let near an oven anyway. All's well that ends well. Or something like that. For now, I will stick to eating Target-bought granola and drinking the Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. Have you had one? They're life changing. You'll probably cry and have a midlife crisis, or something to that effect, so be prepared.

The toughie: Fall Home Decor. I'm not really sure what qualifies as fall home decor. Don't get me wrong, I have a huge appreciation for the moments when I walk into a house and have the sensation that it is properly equipped for the enjoyment of fall, I just can't put my finger on exactly what qualifies as a specifically fall-oriented decoration. So far, I've made three fall adjustments to my living space. I got a fall-colored afghan. Its brown and orange and leaf-colored and its wonderful to snuggle in and it smells like fresh linens because I dipped it in Febreze. The smell was overwhelming at first, but now its perfect. My second purchase was not entirely thought-through when I carried it out and you can tell in the presentation. I bought some fake leaves from my favorites store. I feel shameful even when I write that. Having come from a home where fake plants are valued over real plants because of their low-maitenence qualities, I felt like I was making a good choice. But when the fake plants that you buy are cloth leaves in a bag, and when you scatter your fake leaves around your already too-small kitchen table, and then you're nervous to eat there because you might ruin the arrangement that you spent 20 minutes on, you might find yourself on the list of nominees for "People Least Qualified to Decorate a Home, 2011." My final item, however is a winner. Candles. Cinnamon and Pumpkin scented candles. They give off a nice glow and they make any space smell like you rubbed potpourri on your face. I love it.....until I get nervous that I left my candles burning while I'm at school. Luckily, I never forget to blow my candles out...unfortunately, I just never remember actually doing it. Let me tell you, the flop-sweats are a thing even if you don't have bangs, and especially if you are worried that you're burning down your house while you're supposed to be learning fake-acoustics. #distracting

Fall weather. This is another toughie, especially if you already know you suck at summoning charms. Clearly the weather-changing spells are out of your league. So I make do. My favorite thing to do in this category, is to turn my air conditioning on the highest fan setting and the lowest temperature setting and then ram around my apartment in sweatpants and a blanket. I used to do this when I was in 6th grade, but my parents got mad at me for jacking up the energy bills. Well now that I live with myself, I can make my own decisions and if my need to feel cold overrides my need to eat for a week or two, so be it. Sacrifices people, sacrifices. Plus, I've always had a weird fascination about what it would actually be like to live as a starving artist. Well after this next energy bill, I just might find out.....anyway. Who doesn't love waking up in the morning to a cold room, but having it be toasty warm under the covers? Where do I sign up?

Finally, fall activities. I played football last week and it wasn't by accident. I found some boys from a frat and they asked if I would play. It was early and I was hungry, so in my dazed confusion, I said yes. It was tackle football. I think my hip is broken. Small price to pay....well I guess I won't be doing A Chorus Line anytime soon. It was fun though. I'm trying to think of fall activities and I'm coming up with nothing. My humble opinion is that any activity that is performed in the fall is automatically better because of it being fall. Right? Going on walks? Better in the fall because of the leaves. Cooking? Better in the fall because there are fall-inspired ingredients and recipes. Going out on the town? Better in the fall because of the plethora of fall clothing options.

Well, I guess I've sacrificed fall for the next two years in order to get this silly piece of paper from ASU. But then its straight back to the Twin Cities to enjoy autumn.....and the other seasons as well, for in the other seasons, I anticipate autumn. Until then, I will ponder about baking fall muffins and I will try not to burn down my house. Wish me luck.

A

Comfort

Comfort is an interesting thing. People seek it out at huge costs. It can come in an endless variety of forms and combinations. It can be scary and awful when we're not comfortable. So we do what we can to make things work.

As a hoarder of apparel, sweatpants, sweaters and fuzzy socks feel just right. As the victim of a food addiction, corndogs, pizza and macaroni fill me up just right. As a musician, a tuneful melody and a well-placed lyric ignites my passion. As a believer in ambiance, matching color palates, tasteful artwork and clean lines make my house a home. As a family boy, a dinner with the parents and sister makes me feel like a kid again. As a friend, laughter, banter and memories bring me back to Decorah. As the lover of a boy, a quiet glance, a hand in mine and a kiss goodnight keep me flustered for quite some time.

Well, my friends....

I don't know if you know this or not, but some of these things don't exist in my corner of the desert. So, like I said above, I'm trying to make do. My house is decked out with art and curtains and throw pillows to the point that you could very well think that Martha Stewart had gotten completely sloshed, had a severe lapse of judgement, and moved to Phoenix. Alas, she didn't. But I read her book and I like her taste.

My refrigerator and cupboards are filled with every kind of macaroni that is available at Target. Not kidding. There are 7 flavors. I had the Buffalo flavor tonight and it gave me heartburn. But it was worth it. OHHHH, was it worth it. The price I pay for eating the food I love is insane. After some meals, I have to curl up on my couch with Constantine and together, we weep about my burning esophagus. And I haven't even made a dent into the stash of pizzas I have in my freezer. Honestly, its overwhelming to the point that I'm quite positive that I could open a Pizza Hut.

My clothing options are limited in the desert and if I were to attempt to wear sweatpants and a sweater, I would surely die of heat exhaustion within the hour. So for now, tank tops and short-shorts will have to do. HOWEVER, I have a plethora of scarves hanging in my closet that are too ridiculously cute to not wear at some point. Dearest November and December -- GET HERE. Tenderly, Andy. Maybe the single most devastating (non-important) thing about Phoenix is the lack of fall. Fall is my very favorite time of year. It doesn't exist here. That means immediate dismissal from the list of places I would be willing to live in for longer than a year or two.

One amazing thing here in the desert is ASU itself. The musical theater/opera program here is wonderful. The professors are so knowledgeable and so encouraging, which now that I am writing it, sounds a bit generic, but I write it with genuine sincerity.

I miss my family. That's pretty basic though, so I don't think that needs any explanation.

As far as my friends go, I have about 9 of them now, which is 9 more than I had 3 weeks ago. I count this as a huge success because I clearly recall telling the Boy Person that if I came home for Christmas break having made 6 friends, I would be satisfied. Well I can tell you with a good amount of certainty, that these 9 people are nice humans who have welcomed me to their world in the sand and I am grateful for them.

In my first month here, I have discovered that this school of music is like any other school of music, and is populated with people that are obsessed (rightfully so) with their craft. They are only able to (or willing to) converse about the latest vocal pedagogy or the best audition songs or their immense knowledge of obscure Broadway shows or whatever other musical topics you can think of. I am so thankful for having learned in the last year that, for me, there is a lot more to life than technique and shop-talk. I want to live a life outside my profession and if that makes me less good at theater and music, so be it. I have an admiration for those that are so incredibly dedicated to their craft, but I do not envy their chosen path.

As far as my other friends go, there seems to have been an adopted pact that states that everyone must move as far away from each other as possible. My closest friends from college have spread out, not only across the country, but across the world. Its sometimes hard to imagine that just a short while ago, we were all sitting in the same small little room, eating spaghetti and drinking wine (they were drinking wine; I was drinking rum....keeping it classy) and laughing about being fake-bad....and now, we are out and about in a big way. The best part is, that if any of us were to have guessed then, where we'd be right now, our guesses wouldn't have even been close. However, I have the feeling that each of us is on the right path, in one way or another, and that is comforting.

The Boy Person. Oh, the Boy Person. The only goodbye that sucked more than when I had to say goodbye to him in Minneapolis, was the goodbye that occurred at the end of his visit here in Phoenix, 2 weeks ago. Someone once said something about how love hurts, and let me tell you, its true. I was at Barnes and Noble a few months ago, and in my desperation to adequately prepare for this whole moving-away thing, I flipped through the pages of the book "Long Distance Relationships for Dummies." Thank the Baby Jesus that I didn't buy it. It had all these rules and regulations and timelines and junk that probably would have given me an ulcer the size of Texas. Luckily, a wise friend who we shall call JogieBear, told me the only thing I need to remember how to do, is communicate openly and honestly about everything. This has never been a problem with the Boy Person and I, so we're doing our very best. I'm trying to appreciate the situation with its new parameters, and so far, the best thing I've come up with was best stated in a tweet: long distance relationships teach you that you will be grateful to spend every day together, someday. I can't wait for that day. But I'll have to, allegedly.

The most positive aspect of my time in the desert so far: I'm not dead yet.

I've survived heat, dehydration, a terrible diet, lack of familiarity, loneliness, acoustics, spiders, a scorpion, a non-Nordic choir, and a credit card that sometimes begs me to buy a 1-way ticket to home. But for better or for worse, this is home for now....and while there is an unforgivable amount of beige in this state, I won't be one to follow suit.

Be well,

A