Certifiable. That is how I would classify myself in my current condition. All the way crazy, as some of my friends might say. I'm pretty sure that it will all turn out fine, as it usually does, but the thing is....I told myself that I would never let this happen again.....after last spring.
Between now and the next ten days, I will have started rehearsals for three musicals. Thoroughly Modern Millie, Godspell and Bare. TMM and Godspell are shows that I'm music directing and I'm onstage for Bare, which is a rare treat for me, as of late. Last spring, I promised myself that I would never do more than two shows at once. That was a result of putting up Light in the Piazza, Edges, Figaro and my senior recital all within seven weeks of each other. Insanity. I still haven't fully recovered emotionally.
And do you want to know the sickest part of all?
I like it. No. I love it. I love being able to create on a daily basis. I love the type of humans that my work allows me to encounter. For example, today I had my first music rehearsal for Bare and it was wonderful. One of the things I missed most about college was the quality of music-making and today's rehearsal certainly reminded me of that. While I am super shy by nature, and it will probably take me a while to get into the groove of things, I get so energized by working with and watching these new colleagues. And holy jeeeeez! They are talented! The first time we sang the opening sequence, full out, was chilling....in a good way! I'm excited to see where this show goes. At this point, it has potential to be spectacular! Keeping my fingers crossed! And practicing my rapping.
Millie and Godspell are getting underway shortly and both promise to be really rewarding productions for different reasons. I will keep you updated on both of those. In addition to all that, I will be traveling across the country to do my final grad school auditions within the next few weeks. NERVOUS. However, it is nice to know that I have a few options. Even within the grad school route....do I go for MT performance? Music Direction? Vocal Ped? Who knows? I guess I'll go for whatever they let me....gah. Keeping my fingers crossed about that one too. I am also waiting to hear the results of my coaching student's college auditions, which actually makes me more nervous than waiting for my own. I currently am working with 14 high school kids who are auditioning at some pretty major schools and we are all waiting with bated breath for the results.
So thats pretty much it for now. Things will continue to snowball for the next couple months and I am currently considering my options for summer, which include staying in the Twin Cities, moving to Iowa, New York, Arizona, Indiana or the UK. I should probably narrow that down sometime soon. But again, its not up to me. Its where the work is. Which can be frustrating, but I'm trying really hard to see it as exciting. So far, I haven't had much luck. Ha.
So I will continue being crazy. Why, you ask? Because the things that make me crazy also remind me that I'm alive. And that's important too.
Find what makes you crazy. Its can be scary, but its worth it.
A
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Last one to know. Not shocked. Well, a little.
Okay. I'm usually really on top of things. Like when it comes to my life plans, I am thinking years ahead. I literally spend 80% of my day pursuing these life plans, in one way or another. And I am constantly evaluating myself and these goals. And this is why it came as a shock to me when I realized that I am not a singer actor. I am a music director. An MD, if you will.
Hold on. I just fell off my chair. Give me a second to recover semi-gracefully.
Holy lord. Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Hmmmm???
Oh wait. A ton of people did. I guess the question is why didn't I listen to them? I have no idea. I'm not usually incredibly stubborn. I mean, I am fairly opinionated, but I always put forth a conscious effort to hear out the things that other people tell me. And when I receive advice from people that I respect, I always pay special attention. I think this is why I am so shocked to have made this realization.
Acting has never been my strong suit. I can nail a song to the wall, but put me in a scene with lines, and you might as well have handed the script to an illiterate horse and then shot it. That made no sense, but its what popped into my head. Eh. Anyway. I've worked at it. I read plays. Out loud. Like a crazy person. Or a third-grader. I videotape myself reading said plays and then play them back as I critique. When I watch TV, I analyze the speech patterns. The vocal inflection. The technique. However, I haven't had the opportunity to really put this homework into practice as of late because I am constantly working as a music director. If I could have just seen the obvious before today, I might not have eaten like nine pieces of pizza this afternoon while I examined the shattered pieces of my misconceived existence. Ha. Kidding. But not about the pizza. It was good.
I should have realized when people started referring me as a musical director. I mean, my first four gigs out of college were either at the keyboards or with a baton in my hand. Its not often that everyone around me realizes something about me before I do. This might be a first. But the best part is, I couldn't be more excited about it.
I absolutely am loving what I do. There are often days where I feel like I am far too exhausted to work on anything, but as soon as I am in the rehearsal studio or onstage or in the pit, I am filled with this insatiable urge to create. I never leave a rehearsal feeling down; even if it was a difficult one. I love the opportunities to work with both actors and musicians. Both groups are very different and it takes some adjustment, but both groups have an energy that is infectious and positive. And I think the biggest thing that I've discovered about myself is that I really enjoy helping people in the discovery process. I love finding the perfect song for my students. You know? That one song that they can connect to in a way that makes it seem like it was written for them. The one song that, when they sing it, it is as if they are working right out of their stream of consciousness. The one song that brings the listener to the edge of their seat because the singer is truly communicating. They are making believe. Makers of belief.
Ugh. Sappy. I know. But I love sappy. I mean, after all, we're talking about musical theater here.
So where do I go from here? I have an acting gig coming up this spring. It is a role in the pop opera BARE with the Minneapolis Musical Theater Company. And if things go as planned, it might be my last time on stage as an actor. I am fully pursuing any and all MD gigs that come my way. In fact, for my grad school choices, (all of which were musical theater performance degrees before about two weeks ago) I have recently applied to two new programs, both of which offer degrees in Music Directing for the Musical Theater.
I feel good about this. I feel comfortable. I have a knowledge of my current skill set and I can now clearly see that I don't belong on the stage - at least during performances. I am beyond excited about what adventures this new goal might present, and I will do my best to keep all of you up-to-date!
Whirlwind. I like it. Now off to get my laundry out of the dryer. Glamorous, I know.
A
Hold on. I just fell off my chair. Give me a second to recover semi-gracefully.
Holy lord. Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Hmmmm???
Oh wait. A ton of people did. I guess the question is why didn't I listen to them? I have no idea. I'm not usually incredibly stubborn. I mean, I am fairly opinionated, but I always put forth a conscious effort to hear out the things that other people tell me. And when I receive advice from people that I respect, I always pay special attention. I think this is why I am so shocked to have made this realization.
Acting has never been my strong suit. I can nail a song to the wall, but put me in a scene with lines, and you might as well have handed the script to an illiterate horse and then shot it. That made no sense, but its what popped into my head. Eh. Anyway. I've worked at it. I read plays. Out loud. Like a crazy person. Or a third-grader. I videotape myself reading said plays and then play them back as I critique. When I watch TV, I analyze the speech patterns. The vocal inflection. The technique. However, I haven't had the opportunity to really put this homework into practice as of late because I am constantly working as a music director. If I could have just seen the obvious before today, I might not have eaten like nine pieces of pizza this afternoon while I examined the shattered pieces of my misconceived existence. Ha. Kidding. But not about the pizza. It was good.
I should have realized when people started referring me as a musical director. I mean, my first four gigs out of college were either at the keyboards or with a baton in my hand. Its not often that everyone around me realizes something about me before I do. This might be a first. But the best part is, I couldn't be more excited about it.
I absolutely am loving what I do. There are often days where I feel like I am far too exhausted to work on anything, but as soon as I am in the rehearsal studio or onstage or in the pit, I am filled with this insatiable urge to create. I never leave a rehearsal feeling down; even if it was a difficult one. I love the opportunities to work with both actors and musicians. Both groups are very different and it takes some adjustment, but both groups have an energy that is infectious and positive. And I think the biggest thing that I've discovered about myself is that I really enjoy helping people in the discovery process. I love finding the perfect song for my students. You know? That one song that they can connect to in a way that makes it seem like it was written for them. The one song that, when they sing it, it is as if they are working right out of their stream of consciousness. The one song that brings the listener to the edge of their seat because the singer is truly communicating. They are making believe. Makers of belief.
Ugh. Sappy. I know. But I love sappy. I mean, after all, we're talking about musical theater here.
So where do I go from here? I have an acting gig coming up this spring. It is a role in the pop opera BARE with the Minneapolis Musical Theater Company. And if things go as planned, it might be my last time on stage as an actor. I am fully pursuing any and all MD gigs that come my way. In fact, for my grad school choices, (all of which were musical theater performance degrees before about two weeks ago) I have recently applied to two new programs, both of which offer degrees in Music Directing for the Musical Theater.
I feel good about this. I feel comfortable. I have a knowledge of my current skill set and I can now clearly see that I don't belong on the stage - at least during performances. I am beyond excited about what adventures this new goal might present, and I will do my best to keep all of you up-to-date!
Whirlwind. I like it. Now off to get my laundry out of the dryer. Glamorous, I know.
A
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