Okay. I'm usually really on top of things. Like when it comes to my life plans, I am thinking years ahead. I literally spend 80% of my day pursuing these life plans, in one way or another. And I am constantly evaluating myself and these goals. And this is why it came as a shock to me when I realized that I am not a singer actor. I am a music director. An MD, if you will.
Hold on. I just fell off my chair. Give me a second to recover semi-gracefully.
Holy lord. Why didn't anyone tell me this before? Hmmmm???
Oh wait. A ton of people did. I guess the question is why didn't I listen to them? I have no idea. I'm not usually incredibly stubborn. I mean, I am fairly opinionated, but I always put forth a conscious effort to hear out the things that other people tell me. And when I receive advice from people that I respect, I always pay special attention. I think this is why I am so shocked to have made this realization.
Acting has never been my strong suit. I can nail a song to the wall, but put me in a scene with lines, and you might as well have handed the script to an illiterate horse and then shot it. That made no sense, but its what popped into my head. Eh. Anyway. I've worked at it. I read plays. Out loud. Like a crazy person. Or a third-grader. I videotape myself reading said plays and then play them back as I critique. When I watch TV, I analyze the speech patterns. The vocal inflection. The technique. However, I haven't had the opportunity to really put this homework into practice as of late because I am constantly working as a music director. If I could have just seen the obvious before today, I might not have eaten like nine pieces of pizza this afternoon while I examined the shattered pieces of my misconceived existence. Ha. Kidding. But not about the pizza. It was good.
I should have realized when people started referring me as a musical director. I mean, my first four gigs out of college were either at the keyboards or with a baton in my hand. Its not often that everyone around me realizes something about me before I do. This might be a first. But the best part is, I couldn't be more excited about it.
I absolutely am loving what I do. There are often days where I feel like I am far too exhausted to work on anything, but as soon as I am in the rehearsal studio or onstage or in the pit, I am filled with this insatiable urge to create. I never leave a rehearsal feeling down; even if it was a difficult one. I love the opportunities to work with both actors and musicians. Both groups are very different and it takes some adjustment, but both groups have an energy that is infectious and positive. And I think the biggest thing that I've discovered about myself is that I really enjoy helping people in the discovery process. I love finding the perfect song for my students. You know? That one song that they can connect to in a way that makes it seem like it was written for them. The one song that, when they sing it, it is as if they are working right out of their stream of consciousness. The one song that brings the listener to the edge of their seat because the singer is truly communicating. They are making believe. Makers of belief.
Ugh. Sappy. I know. But I love sappy. I mean, after all, we're talking about musical theater here.
So where do I go from here? I have an acting gig coming up this spring. It is a role in the pop opera BARE with the Minneapolis Musical Theater Company. And if things go as planned, it might be my last time on stage as an actor. I am fully pursuing any and all MD gigs that come my way. In fact, for my grad school choices, (all of which were musical theater performance degrees before about two weeks ago) I have recently applied to two new programs, both of which offer degrees in Music Directing for the Musical Theater.
I feel good about this. I feel comfortable. I have a knowledge of my current skill set and I can now clearly see that I don't belong on the stage - at least during performances. I am beyond excited about what adventures this new goal might present, and I will do my best to keep all of you up-to-date!
Whirlwind. I like it. Now off to get my laundry out of the dryer. Glamorous, I know.
A
Have you ever considered a master's in collaborative piano and vocal coaching? They actually have a decent program at the U of MN Twin Cities. Terry and I think you would be AMAZING at that :)
ReplyDelete