Unsettled (Unsettleable)

I have an extensive history of not being able to really settle down, no matter where I am in my life. I am always looking ahead. Looking for the next show. The next project. The next school. Whatever.

But the problem is that I tend to make very elaborate and detailed plans and then at the very last minute, change them to something completely out-of-character and unpredictable. That's my M.O. Always has been, and probably always will be.

For example, when I was 18, I was all the way ready to move permanently from the Twin Cities to New York. This would have been the next logical step in my career, as this is where musical theater happens. I would either work (not likely) or go to school at one of the various universities that offers a degree in MT. This is what everyone expected me to do....including myself.

And then what happened, you ask? I'll tell you.

I moved into a cornfield in Iowa (where musical theater is literally outlawed) and got a liberal arts degree with an emphasis in opera performance. I didn't even like opera. Still don't.

Why did I make this move, you ask? I have no idea.

Another example. So last April, I was busy preparing to graduate from said college-in-the-corn and I had just received my acceptance letter from the Steinhardt School at NYU for their MM in Musical Theater Program. So here I was, once again ready to move to the Big Apple.

And what do you suppose I did next? I decided to turn down NYU and try working professionally in the Twin Cities.

What the hell?!?! I mean, why am I so apparently afraid of New York? I'll tell you why. Because its scary. There are a million people there who look just like me, have my same skill sets and have the exact same career goals. And I don't know if you know this or not, but there are only like four jobs in New York. Okay, well there's more than four. There's like seven. But do you see why I hesitate?

So here I am, day after Christmas, 2010. I have been working consistently as a music director, vocal coach and singing actor in the Twin Cities for the past seven months and I have work booked out solid for the next five months at least. I also have a plan. Big plans, in fact, to attend Arizona State University for their MM in Musical Theater Program in the fall of 2011. I know how amazing and warm the climate is. I have picked the professor I want to study voice with. I know the apartment complex I want to live in (it has an AMAZING pool and is right across the street from campus).......

And I'm right on par for the course because where do you suppose I'm probably going next?

(If you just thought New York, you need to go back and read the paragraph about the abundance of jobs there.)

The United Kingdom.

Holy hell, someone rein me in.

Well, I know one thing for sure; my life won't be beige anytime soon.

Now, where is my ulcer medication?



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